Hey there, the name’s Clark! Better known as Queasy Clark back in the day, but that’s long behind me. After one squeamish Dillo too many, I’ve learned my lessons the hard way.
I hail from Los Angeles, where I was born and raised surrounded by kale smoothies and avocado toast... and people who drink on empty stomachs to cut the calories. It didn’t help when I came to Northwestern and realized people use stress as a socially acceptable excuse to skip meals all the time. Excuses for poor eating habits are everywhere, but now I know that makes it all the more important to stay extra wary.
Personally, things really came to a head on Dillo Day. It’s dangerous enough to be tired and hungry; it’s far worse to be tired, hungry, and drunk. The next time you see a wide-eyed freshman downing shots at 7 a.m., take a second to ask if they’ve eaten. I know I would’ve appreciated it. It wasn’t until my good friends Hamlin and Davis had to hold back my bangs as I heaved over my limited edition Stan Smiths that I learned otherwise.
My friends back home swear the most important meal of the day is brunch. They’re not wrong, but I’ve realized that, especially on Dillo Day, it’s also the one before you head to the party. And in retrospect, I’ve made some of my best memories with the Smart Dillo squad over food and water before the hammering headaches and mysterious scars.
If I could go back in time, I’d tell freshman year Clark that tequila is not a substantive breakfast! Plus, how are you going to skip a meal when there are so many food options at the tips of your fingers? There are endless ways to fill up, both before and after you drink, with food trucks right on the lakefill where all the fun is. So don’t drink on an empty stomach — and remember not to wear white shoes to Dillo if you can help it.